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Kazegami
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 08.19.07
Location: a world of pure imagination
Posts: 7025 |
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Well, taking cake from a couple of jerks who didn’t appreciate it and therefore didn’t deserve it didn’t exactly count as violence, but the tears came all right. As Tanaka-san hurriedly left the classroom she invited me, Yuichi-san, and I think .. Icchan ... to come with her. I followed, but I could do nothing except hover close by her. I had no idea what to do with a crying girl.
Gits. Making a girl cry any time is wicked, but on her birthday of all days... I hope the sensei finds those crumbs.
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 09.15.2007, 02:46 PM |
  
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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Sadoru-kun and I walked out to the lockers. Just in time too, because no sooner had we left than the class descended into cake-slinging pandemonium.
I walked with him silently. He was going to tell me something, too, but I wasn't quite sure how to ask him, or when.
Now? No. I didn't want to break the silence.
Post last edited by Mush on 09.15.2007, 05:01 PM.
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| 09.15.2007, 05:01 PM |
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Maho_Fushida
Baron
Registration Date: 09.11.07
Location: Walking home.
Posts: 1498 |
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I stood watching the drama unfolding around me and then within a moment half the classroom seemed to have emptied. Takako, the girl who had no friends suddenly seemed to have found one and left quickly being almost dragged out by the guy with red hair.
Whoa, so the caveman stuff is still alive and well in Isakaya high school. Impressive.
Tanaka ran out having ripped into the two people at the back and no less than three guys went out with her. Sho and I were left and I felt almost as though it were something I'd said.
"Well, never mind about the cake thing," I said to Sho, "It seems to have resolved itself."
I looked around at the room, pieces of cake were on my desk and on the floor.
"Tell you what," I gave Sho a careful look, "Here's the deal. Help me pick up all this stuff, and I'll eat lunch with you."
I bent down and began to gather up the crumbs, small pieces and drips of lemon icing.
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| 09.15.2007, 06:46 PM |
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Saddletank
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 09.28.06
Location: On your case
Posts: 10069 |
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Once down the stairs I slowed my pace. I still held her hand. I didn't want to let go. Holding it made the sun shine brighter, the air smell fresher and my step lighter. But we got to the lockers and I let go. Because I had to.
Ever tried changing your shoes while holding someone's hand? No, not the best recommendation for building a friendship.
I got changed and went to her. She was slower than me and just finishing up. She closed her locker door.
"Wait. You forgot something." I pulled the door open again and took out the pear. "Here, you're the owner of both our lunches, you need to look after it."
I went towards the rear door that led out onto the quad. I wanted to hold her hand again, so much I wanted to but I decided against it.
She hasn't shown you her intentions yet, don't push things.
I glanced at her, held the door for her as we went out. My turn this time. Maybe she caught me smiling to myself at that?
We went out into the crisp warm spring air and I turned right, then under the covered walkway and finally left behind the second wing where there was a pathway. Down to our right was the running track and baseball pitches. I watched some students running, playing, laughing. They seemed happy. Healthy.
Along this path a few students were standing about talking and joking, there were benches here and the grassy bank ran down to more benches under the row of trees facing the running track. We went by more than one bench on which sat senior years, couples. Kissing. I glanced away, perhaps coming here had been a bad idea.
I walked with my hands in my pockets and despite the sun, the dappled shade, the breeze and the laughter of boys and girls I became more and more aware of the person at my side. She seemed to suddenly occupy my entire world.
How to tell her? How can I do this? If I were her what would I need? A strong person. Someone I could lean on. But I feel anything but strong right now. The person walking beside me is counting down the days until she dies. How can I be strong for her? What can I possibly say to her after that? God why do you do this? You've given me this job once already, I don't know if I can do it again.
Post last edited by Saddletank on 09.15.2007, 07:35 PM.
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| 09.15.2007, 07:31 PM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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"Doumo" I mumbled, biting into the pear. [Thanks]
I could feel the warmth of his hand slowly dissipating away into the air after he let go. I clasped my palms together, to retain the feeling. I wanted to hold his hand again, but I knew that I couldn't. I'm a fool if I start a relationship now... It will only bring pain. No romance should come with an expiry date. Well, it will all be determined soon enough. Maybe I'll be lucky.
I hadn't really been around the grounds yet. Some parts were so full of frantic energy, it was almost overwhelming. Others were much more serene.
The grassy bank we walked past was carpeted by beautiful, lifeless blossoms. I watched the couples for awhile, wondering how they met, and for how long they'd be together.
The time is now, or never.
"Sadoru-kun... is there anything you wanted to talk about?"
Don't worry. I can always listen.
His hands were in his pockets, so I slipped my arm through his.
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| 09.15.2007, 10:01 PM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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[I just realized, I haven't included the school plan in the RPG page. Will do so soon. For the rest, reference is here.]
Not the situation to start a conversation.
The library was in the other building, connected by a walkway on the ground floor. As we passed through it, something caught my eye.
"Guys, hold on a second," I said, and ran out.
When I came back, I held a can of coffee.
"Here," I said, holding it out to Tanaka. "Drink this. And I'm not taking no for an answer, you NEED this."
"Sorry all this had to happen on your birthday, and sorry the coffee's all I got to make you feel better. Wish I could do more, though."
[Dunno, most anime I watch got ppl handing out coffee for consolation, meh. Supposedly drinking coffee makes you look like a grown-up in Japan.]
Post last edited by Roarkiller on 09.15.2007, 11:36 PM.
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| 09.15.2007, 11:34 PM |
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fenkashi
Dibs on Supreme Overlord
Registration Date: 08.12.07
Location: Canada
Posts: 5735 |
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[the coffee...is warm...okay]
God, why is there so much conflict in this school...I just want to have a normal day, I thought as I waited for Icchan's response. I was already on the defensive with my arms crossed over my chest. But he surprised me when he told us to wait and ran off to lord knows where.
I gave Kazuo-san an apologetic look and then turning to Yuichi, I said, "Sorry, I know we'd made plans...I shouldn't have lost control. But now that the library's so close, why don't we all go together? It's your call."
But before he could reply, Icchan came running back and handed me an iced coffee.
quote:
"Here. Drink this. And I'm not taking no for an answer, you NEED this."
"Sorry all this had to happen on your birthday, and sorry the coffee's all I got to make you feel better. Wish I could do more, though."
He's being nice now? I really didn't understand him but the warm can felt good in my cold hand and I took a small sip before saying, "Thank you, I think I needed that. And you don't need to apologize...it wasn't your fault that happened, was it?" Even as I said, a dreadful thought surfaced in my mind. What if it had been his fault? Another joke on Tanaka...No, I can't think like that. I have to give him a chance.
Taking another sip, I found and held Yuichi's eyes and hoped he understood that I wanted him to take lead. All the perkiness I was feeling this morning was gone. I was feeling drained and I just wanted to lay in the sun...but that would have to come later. The curiosity over the restricted book that I had all but forgotten was returning.
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Post last edited by fenkashi on 09.16.2007, 02:14 AM.
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| 09.15.2007, 11:59 PM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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"It's alright," I said. "We can hold off that topic until you feel better. Messed up emotions makes for messed up thinking." "
And the last thing I want is to see a girl cry. It... ah... makes me nervous."
"By the way, why are we going to the library again?"
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| 09.16.2007, 12:34 AM |
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sho
Ohmu
Registration Date: 08.15.07
Location: My own little world~
Posts: 435 |
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Maho-san was awfully puzzling. One second, she was kind(er) to me, then the next she was insulting me.
She was already bending over, starting to pick up pieces of the cake. I raised an eyebrow and replied, "Don't pick it up."
Sitting back down on the desk, I explained, "Let them get in trouble."
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| 09.16.2007, 01:39 AM |
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sho
Ohmu
Registration Date: 08.15.07
Location: My own little world~
Posts: 435 |
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[accident - disregard]
Post last edited by sho on 09.16.2007, 01:40 AM.
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| 09.16.2007, 01:40 AM |
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Saddletank
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 09.28.06
Location: On your case
Posts: 10069 |
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quote:
"Sadoru-kun... is there anything you wanted to talk about?"
Her words had hardly registered before I felt her arm slid inside mine and hold on to me. As we walked her shoulder would bump against my upper arm from time to time. And once or twice - almost unbearably - her hip would touch mine and then be gone again. These things, these human touches, this warmth.
More than her words that was my cue, that contact told me what she was thinking more than anything. I pulled my other hand out of my pocket and rested it over her hand. I looked up at the almost naked sakura, a few stubborn blossoms clung on in tattered damp clumps.
Hardly a loving scene, the romance of the sakura torn down before it's even begun.
Then words came. I began speaking. I didn't know if these words would help her or not but something here seemed to form a connection. I couldn't quite grasp it but I went right on ahead and said these words because they seemed to be right. There was a link here. I didn’t understand it. Yet. Maybe speaking them to her would jog something inside her?
"Her name was Kaede. I got to know her last year, in our final year of middle school. She was very pretty, long dark brown hair and hazel eyes that were always smiling. She was so full of life, always laughing and running. She danced. She was in the ballet club and her club did a few scenes from Swan Lake at our Culture Fest in the autumn. She was like an angel, she could dance so well. You should have seen her dance. Like flying. It was as though gravity had a weaker pull on her than it did on the rest of us. She was a great horse rider too, she did that a lot. She was very good. She'd been doing it three years and was becoming confident in her jumps and could gallop like the wind. Everything about her was bursting with vitality. With life.
"I was in love with her of course. I think lots of boys were, but when I got to know her just after the summer break she responded to me and we got on really well. She came cycling with me some weekends and we'd do our homework together. We even went to the movies a few times. Swimming once or twice. We were getting on great. I think she liked me.
"Then after the Culture Fest she told me. She told me why she was like she was, why she'd turned down the confessions from so many other boys. Why she did everything so hard and enjoyed herself so much. Cancer. A rare type that attacks children. Haemocarcinagalmo I think she called it. Or something like that. I’m not sure. Very rare, her body produced damaged blood cells. She had blood transfusions several times but it wasn't the blood system it was something in her body producing bad cells. Her doctors never found out what. It had been with her since birth in a manageable form but after puberty it got worse. A lot worse. Her family had been told that she might have only two years to live. This was when she was twelve at the start of middle school. Her response… well it was typical of Kaede. To live life to the fullest possible and enjoy the time she had.
"But her mother was focused on getting her into Isakaya and she studied very hard for it. I never found out why, but she became obsessed with it. Her mother told her something, I don't know what and she became driven, studying like crazy to pass the entrance exams. And of course I was in love with her so I selected Isakaya as my first choice school too. Not because I particularly wanted to be here, it’s a long train ride from where I live but because she'd be here and where she was I wanted to be." I looked at Takako, “You know?
"And we both got places. She was so happy. She hugged me that day as though her life was complete. That was in January when we got the letters of acceptance. Her mother took her out and she bought her uniform and put it on and came round to see me. She was so happy and I was so proud of her. She was radiant, beautiful. She looked amazing, so grown up. And so, of course, I had to... I kissed her. I couldn't help it. And the nicest thing was she kissed me back. And put her arms round me. "It'll be fine," she said, "Now I've got a place at Isakaya everything will be all right. They'll look after me." I didn't understand what she meant by that. I still don’t.
"But…” I lifted my free hand and squeezed my fingers to the bridge of my nose to trap the tears, hold them in. “But it wasn’t all right. Nothing was. The cancer suddenly got a lot worse and in late January she collapsed and went into hospital. I went in to see her a few times in February but I could hardly bear to look at her. She’d grown so thin and weak. How could this broken useless thing in this bed be the lively happy girl I knew? It didn’t make sense to me. I’m ashamed to admit that one day I kissed her (her lips were so thin by then, and dry) and turned my back on the stranger in that bed and I never went back."
I paused. For a long time I was silent. We kept walking and the side of my body where this small warm person would occasionaly touch it felt alive. My other side was cold and lifeless.
“She died at the beginning of March. A month ago. She missed getting into Isakaya by a month. I didn’t go to her funeral, I couldn’t bear it. I was too much of a coward. It’s so unfair. She wanted to get into Isakaya and didn’t and I only wanted to because she did – and I made it.
“But hey,” I turned to Takako and blinked back the tears that I knew she didn't need to see. I even managed a small smile, “you made it here, maybe you even took her place. Maybe God decided he couldn’t help Kaede but he could help you. Or maybe it was too late for her and he wants to help you instead. Maybe everything will work out right for you. When I look at that shadow I think really stupid things, like maybe Kaede’s spirit is here at the school she wanted to be in, and she’s looking after you for some reason.”
I stared at the carpet of pink at my feet.
“But no, that makes no sense. That would be like ghosts and I don’t believe in ghosts. And anyway, it doesn't feel like her. It feels like a stranger. I don't think it likes me. So - I guess I’m pretty messed up at the moment. Ah, lonely. Unhappy. So – anyway – gomen.”
But...
"But whatever happens... I want it to happen with you. If I can help, I want to. And I know you can help me. To forget."
I put my hand back on hers.
"If you want to."
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| 09.16.2007, 02:07 AM |
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Maho_Fushida
Baron
Registration Date: 09.11.07
Location: Walking home.
Posts: 1498 |
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quote:
"Don't pick it up."
"Let them get in trouble."
I stopped momentarily, my tissue hovering over a drip of cream. Then I carried on. I had almost finished now.
"I'll take that as a sign you don't want to eat lunch with me then."
Post last edited by Maho_Fushida on 09.16.2007, 02:16 AM.
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| 09.16.2007, 02:15 AM |
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sho
Ohmu
Registration Date: 08.15.07
Location: My own little world~
Posts: 435 |
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I thought about it for a second. She was honestly spinning me in circles. I kept my word.
Then I grabbed my bag and started toward the door.
"I'll be on the quad. See you."
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| 09.16.2007, 02:27 AM |
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Maho_Fushida
Baron
Registration Date: 09.11.07
Location: Walking home.
Posts: 1498 |
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I didn't look up as he went out.
"Suit yourself." I said to the floor as I wiped up the last of it.
There was movement beside me. I looked up.
"Here. You missed a bit." A boy squatted down in front of me and dropped a few pieces into the growing pile I'd collected in a tissue. He didn't say anything else but just stared at me with a lop sided smile.
"It's rude to stare." I said, knowing exactly where he was staring.
"Nice though. My name's Ren. I'll let Mai know you cleared up the mess. I think she'll be pleased, she's got this traditional behaviour streak in her. I'll introduce you later."
"Whatever." I said, not trusting him. If he had the nerve to stare at me and flat-out admit it he was a pretty strange one.
"So, now I've helped you... About that lunch." and his smile widened.
I stood up. "Well seeing as I no longer seem to have a date - sure."
He grabbed a bag of sandwiches. "Come on, up on the roof."
Post last edited by Maho_Fushida on 09.16.2007, 02:39 AM.
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| 09.16.2007, 02:39 AM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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Somehow, it's what I'd expected. I hadn't known the details, but almost. Almost.
I said nothing while he talked. I just listened.
Kaede-san. He loved her. I wish I had met her.
Don't feel sorry for him! Don't! I can't! He wouldn't want me to. I wouldn't want him to. It doesn't help.
She's like me... She was better than me. How could I deserve to live, if she didn't?
Just a month...
quote:
"But whatever happens... I want it to happen with you. If I can help, I want to. And I know you can help me. To forget. If you want to."
And then, at the worst possible time, I came to a startling realization. Many startling realizations. It was like an image that I had only grasped at suddenly became clear to me, and the connections that were formerly invisible became overwhelmingly obvious.
He's making a mistake. We both are.
"I'm sorry... I can't. I'm sorry."
He shouldn't forget. I can't help him forget. I won't let him forget her! What meaning will it have, if he forgets her?
"I'm sorry..." I whispered. I softly let go of his hand. "I'm not her...."
Will I be forgotten, too? Will I fade... into a shadow?
Oh, how I wish I could help him! I wish... I wish I didn't feel so strongly.
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| 09.16.2007, 03:00 AM |
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sho
Ohmu
Registration Date: 08.15.07
Location: My own little world~
Posts: 435 |
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I sat down in a shady patch of grass cross-legged.
Again, I pulled out my bento box and lay to the side.
I wasn't even hungry.
Looking up at the sky, I watched the clouds float by and -
What the? Was that Maho-san on the roof with another boy?
Rubbing my eyes again, I squinted. It was her.
What was she? Some kind of promicuous icicle?
Scratching the back of my head, my thoughts were racing.
And she sits next to me too...This was going to be an interesting year.
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| 09.16.2007, 03:03 AM |
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Saddletank
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 09.28.06
Location: On your case
Posts: 10069 |
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quote:
"I'm sorry... I'm not her...."
She made to let go of me... her hand dropped away, contact was broken. But she didn't go. She didn't walk off. That meant it wasn't over. "I'm well aware of that. Perfectly aware. And it's..."
What is it exactly? What is this miyasma of emotion? Sadness at letting go. Joy at the first meeting? Yes, now I understand.
"If I take what Kaede taught me, and teach you that. That is why. She was strong, very strong. I was weak. I cried for her. I'm not going to cry for you, Aoi-san. I'm not going to be weak. And in strengthening you, you will strengthen me. That's fair."
I reached for her hand and took it again. Squeezed.
"Isn't it?"
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| 09.16.2007, 03:17 AM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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He denied it, but I couldn't shake the impression. He isn't letting go.
I nodded slowly. How can I not?
He squeezed my hand. I looked at the ground.
"It is."
Maybe it is.
I squeezed his hand back, and smiled.
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| 09.16.2007, 03:24 AM |
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Saddletank
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 09.28.06
Location: On your case
Posts: 10069 |
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She wasn't happy, no eye contact. This was all wrong.
As gently as I could I turned her around to face me and put my hands on her shoulders. There was a smile there but I couldn't decide what it meant.
"What is it?"
And then something jumped up inside me... was I pulling her two ways? Ahead with me and backwards to Kaede? Confusing the poor girl? No wonder she wasn't sure.
I looked carefully into Takako's eyes.
"Its not about letting someone go. That happens eventually, it has to, or we'd all go insane. It's about honouring what they did. I'm never going to mention this name again. Ever. I promise. But what Kaede was, I can be. Honouring what she did for me is the way I can help you. And if you let me do that..." I lifted one hand off her shoulder and made a palm upwards gesture of closing my hand into a fist, of grasping and holding onto something, "Then that will be your gift to me."
And finally I was honest with myself, I felt I needed to be, and to give that honesty to her...
"If you go, if you turn away, a person's death will be meaningless. If you stay, their life will have had purpose. Maybe... maybe losing one person is an exchange for saving two others."
Post last edited by Saddletank on 09.16.2007, 04:19 AM.
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| 09.16.2007, 03:46 AM |
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hikari
Ohmu
Registration Date: 09.16.07
Location:
Posts: 292 |
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I was enjoying my stroll on the grounds. I kicked at the blanket of sakura petals as I walked. A waste but oh so much fun. It was nice to finally get some peace and quite and at school nonetheless. Well, it's better than nothing.
I turned my to look at the shaded spots to my left and I found them all occupied. Except, there was one choice. The dense guy who sat in front of me. Actually I don't know if he's dense or really good at masking his reactions. Either way, it had looked like the girl he was talking to earlier had him completely wound around her pinky, without him realizing it. I decided that sitting next to someone in my own class was better than sitting next to a stranger and made my way over to him. It was then that he started squinting at the sky and got a confused look on his face. I followed suit and stared at the sky as well, wondering what could be so puzzling and I soon found the source of puzzlement. It was that girl, on the roof, with who I had found to be the most amazing guy in our class. Ren...oh I could drool. Turning my attention back to confused-looking-boy, I stifled a laugh and thought, That's what you get for being a clueless ditz...and a guy at that. It's only cute when a girl does that.
Holding in my laughter, I moved closer to him but quietly, made a detour and cut around so I was standing behind him. He was immersed in his lunch and confusion poor kid but I showed no mercy as I simultaneously poked him in the ribs and yelled, "Boo!" in his ear and was reduced to giggles when he jumped.
Of course I figured, he didn't know who I was even though I sat behind him so I swallowed what laughter I could and between giggles said, "Hikari Nagashima...I sit right behind you Sho-san. And that face you just pulled; priceless."
An afterthought came to me, What if he gets angry? But the answer was already there before I asked. More fun for me.
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| 09.16.2007, 03:57 AM |
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